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Things you shouldn’t say…

March 13, 2008

As a guy who knows nothing, I often say some pretty stupid things in public though they don’t sound stupid at the time. Let me give you an example.

A few weeks ago I was with 6 of my close personal friends and their spouses having a nice dessert. I was talking to a couple of the guys about some geographical event and I couldn’t remember the name of a street we were discussing. My mind drew a blank. But I knew my wife knew the name of the street. So I turned to my wife and asked:

“Dear, what’s the name of the street where you ran the stop sign and got that ticket?”

Silence. This was not the correct thing to ask – ever.

So, let’s start a list. What have you done or said that would go under the heading of “stupid things”? Leave a comment and help educate the 4 guys that know nothing…

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Daren permalink*
    March 14, 2008 12:54 pm

    Um… I can’t think of anything like this in my life. You’re on your own! 🙂

    Just kidding. Mine is even more embarrassing than yours: I had picked up my wife from her job in Minneapolis. We were driving toward our home in the southern suburbs, when I noticed a foul smell in the car. I wish I’d had a Twix bar at that instant, because I sure needed a moment before speaking. But I forged ahead in unthinking, investigative innocence, and said, “Did you do that?”

    Daggers. I’ll never forget that look… It turned out to be sewer workers on the road up ahead.

  2. jeph permalink*
    March 22, 2008 7:49 pm

    I asked my wife, of all the things I shouldn’t have said, which one stands out as being really dumb. All she said was, “I knew it!” What she was referring to was a comment I made this past Thanksgiving morning. She had agreed to bake rolls and bring them to her mother’s for Thanksgiving dinner. As she was getting things ready in the kitchen I just had this feeling that I was going to be heading out to find an open gas station or convenience store and purchase some needed ingredient for the rolls. I just wanted to stay in where it was warm and enjoy a cup of coffee. Sure enough, it wasn’t long and she informed me that she needed flour to make the rolls and would I be so kind to go out and find some? “I knew it!”, I exclaimed. She wasn’t happy with me (or the tone of my voice) and I wasn’t happy driving around looking for flour on Thanksgiving morning. I later apologized, but the damage had been done.

    Tonight is the evening before Easter. My wife agreed to bring dessert for Easter dinner tomorrow. I’ve been out a few times today and asked each time if we needed anything from the store. No, we didn’t need anything. Now that it is getting late and I’m settling in for the night, happy to just be home out of the snow, my wife decided she better get that dessert made. Yup, I just got home from the grocery store because we were out of eggs…and flour. I have learned something though, I didn’t say, “I knew it!”, even if I did think it.

  3. Bob permalink
    March 23, 2008 3:44 am

    Newly married, my young bride arises early to make a special breakfast. It doesn’t take long before I’m aware of much activity and an unusual odor coming from the kitchen. I meander out to the kitchen and admire the table set before me with fresh coffee, fruit and eggs. I sat down as my beloved brought over a plate containing the source of the activity and odor. I exclaim with delight, “You made chocolate doughnuts!” The look on her face was the first indication that I had said something wrong. The pause before she spoke was the second indication that I had said something wrong. Two little words came from my wife’s lips before the tears came out of her eyes – “They’re burned.”

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