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Microsoft Layoffs? January 22, 2009

Posted by Bob in Life.
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3 comments

Just heard on the radio coming home from work today that Microsoft is laying off 5000 employees.  So, business is down even for a company that to date has never had a layoff?  Hey Bill Gates!  Here’s why your business is down: Excel 2007 – and I’m hoping that those being laid off are the ones responsible for Excel 2007.  What an absolute disaster Excel 2007 is.  I can’t wait until the next iteration of Microsoft Office comes out.  I think I can safely predict that future versions of Office will have the “new style” ribbons as well as the “old style” pull-down menus.  I’m so frustrated with Excel 2007 that I’m digging deep into my file drawers searching for my DOS SuperCalc program.  Only someone who had never before worked with a spreadsheet, or had no experience with charts and graphs, and was probably an art major who flunked out of college could have devised such a convoluted piece of software.  And, oh by the way, thanks Microsoft for all the on-line support you offer.  NOT!!  How embarrassing it must be for a company of Microsoft’s stature to have external third-party training manuals start off by saying, “Most experienced Excel users will find the new version of Excel frustrating at first.”  NO KIDDING! Dang! I just realized that my SuperCalc programs are on a 5.25″ floppy disk and I have a computer that doesn’t have a floppy disk.  I wonder if that 8086 processor computer is still in the attic?

Nice Shirt January 10, 2009

Posted by Todd in Humor, Life.
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8 comments

Today was our Saturday morning get together with the 4 guys, except today it was only 3.  One of the guys had to work.  Of course he was the one that picked the place for our breakfast gathering – a very expensive place.  Today we ended up having one of our longest conversations about solving the universe’s problems.  We wanted to get the most time for our dollar.  We covered politics, music, what we wanted to do with our lives when we grow up, family, and solar flares.

We talked about how our families will allow us to humiliate ourselves to no end.  As an example, last Tuesday I left the house early to be with my mom who was going to have a procedure done at a local hospital.  I joined my father, brother, his wife and some of  my mother’s friends as we waited in a really nice area for the procedure to happen.  When I say I left the house early I mean I left the house while the sun was down.  It was dark.  I had forgotten to set my clothes out the night before.  I ended up dressing in the dark so that I wouldn’t awaken my wife.  You can see where I’m going with this, right?  I buttoned my dress shirt one button off.  The collar didn’t match at the neck. It was bizarre looking.  I am at the hospital for just under 4 hours.  No one says a word.  We go to breakfast.  No one says a word.  One of my mom’s friends says, “Nice Shirt.”  I politely say, “Thank you.”  She doesn’t say another word.  I had no idea that what she was really trying to say was, “Hey idiot, your shirt is on wrong!”  I go home to tell my wife, who I didn’t want to wake up that morning,  that the procedure went well and everything is fine.  She says nothing.  I finally go to the bathroom to brush my teeth and bam!  I’m in front of the mirror wondering why I’m such an idiot and why know one told me I don’t know how to dress myself.

The guys have come to the conclusion that family doesn’t want our heads to get too big so they allow a little humiliation in our lives for our benefit.  I don’t like it.

The 4 Guys are close friends.  If Bob had some kind of wardrobe malfunction I would gladly say, “Bob, you are wearing your underwear on the outside of your pants!”  The real  question is would I take him quietly aside and tell him, or would I yell it across the room as he entered a public place.  The jury is still out on that.

Maybe family is right.  A little humiliation is a good thing.